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My Prayer from Hopeless

God, how long the time that You've been giving to me?
Can i live forever and ever?
Since i was born, i never feel like i live in this earth.

Do i wrong if i'm not satisfy with Your made? Am i fool if i blaming You?
I know You've been so hard to make this world, but i think You aren't so fair with my destiny.
When i walked alone, there was my friends beside me being holded by their parents.
When i pushed my friends while played with them, their parents was running so fast to stopped what i was doing.
Even when i was having my lunch, i saw them from far that their parents who opened their lunch box.
You know God? i remember when i was a student at elementary to senior high school, my report card almost never being taken by my parents. There's just my aunt who's so busy with her works but still having time just for saw how my score at school.
As long as i felt it, i'm still patient waiting for a change that You'll make. Always guessing what will You do for all of my question.
A year, 2 years, even 3 years i've been waiting for Your answer. And i didn't get it.
Although You never want me to be worse, but i had every faults keep running and it looks like never end.
Till i tried to find a book contain how step to facing suicide, i got an interesting book. It titled "Kumpulan Doa Remaja Kristiani".
I look for its contents, an answer that i have to thanked to You:
"Tuhan, aku berterimakasih. Sebab Engkau membimbingku langkah demi langkah. Engkau mengajar aku dengan kasih dan kesabaran, menuntun aku agar mengenal Engkau lebih baik. Mengenal kasih-Mu yang tidak terhingga. Engkau tidak pernah meninggalkan aku, dan selalu mencari yang sesat. Tuhan, hindarkan aku dari keputusasaan, bila hidup ku terasa amat berat, buatlah aku tabah menjalani setiap tantangan hidupku. Dengan bantuan-Mu, aku berjanji untuk senantiasa berjuang tanpa putus asa dalam membangun kehidupan yang lebih baik di dalam Engkau. Tuhan, aku mengasihi Engkau, karena Engkau telah memberi jiwaku dengan kasih dan damai. Terima kasih Tuhan. Amin."

That's the prayer that touched me till now, i feel like i was never happy but You've given me a life to breathe, a life to sing, a life to blogging, a life to speaking, and so many life to me for sharing what's the best i had, and that's You. Maybe i need families, friends, but i really need You as my saviour.

7 komentar:

  1. bagus , teruslah jadi ank Tuhan yg berakhlak boyy

    BalasHapus
  2. the story, was it really and trully happened?
    cuz if it's true, that was a sad and sad story... but, I think He is going to take you back in the right way and bless you more and more and want to make you happier with His way..:)

    BalasHapus
  3. aha it was my true story, honestly, i ain't wanting to told it public, but i want it to be shared for my friends :)
    thank u maria, i guess u were right

    BalasHapus
  4. God always bless you guy...remember He never leave you..he always by your side in the bad and good time. He never let you down..He knows what you need....I like your prayer...so encouraging me too. Honestly..i am down now...when i tried to go bible onlie...i saw your blog on google. and youre inspiring me, you are still young but yo have a strong passion in your life...Sukses bt mu Ronny.

    BalasHapus
  5. wow, thank lucke. i haven't checked my blog and i got your comment praising me. thank you. :)

    BalasHapus