Learning by Seeing

"You may be more wise than any judge, but the more you live your life, you can be so easy tricked by your word."

That word that I made is really happen in my life.

Some day, my best friend asked me how to solve her problems.

She was really frustated. Yeah, I gave her my words, tried to build her mind, woke her from her sadness.

Till she wrote this on her twitter:

Dear Allah, i'm writing you today, i know i don't need this pen. I need you to gimme the strength to get through this :__(

I got frustated too. I can't see my friends, even her who's my best friend, sad.
So I made a deal to meet. But I just seen her account and she wrote this:

 Why cry, why worry, and why ask why. when you know Allah is in control!

 and,

Colors and promises. how to be brave. how can i love when i'm afraid to fall. Lol

Yeah. I feel like been slapped by her. Her words are simpler than what I said to her, but the meaning is so deep.
She's really teach me how to be wise at myself, first.
Thank momma (this what I called for her), for your words. +1

Faithful

We are separated by the distance. Far away like a hundred miles.
Without knowing what you do and what I do though both phone are set to ring.
Who knows if you're having some fun while I'm sitting under the black sky.
Numb. Cold.
Situation is like you've carved a tattoo on my body, and left out without finished it.
Like a doctor wrote a prescription, made some mistakes and torn making the patient dizzy.

We do have a really bad view each other.
You might think that I'm having some drugs waiting you,
and I think that you have another one beside you.

The truth is right. Mine thought.
But, what you think about me is like a different scenery in a same place.
I'm screaming out, loud. Making whole neighbours wake and mock me and say, "STFU!!"

My momma would think that I gotta be in asylum.
She's a witness look at me laughing, mad, cry altogether.
But I'm calm.

I just want you here. Even after I know that bitter lie.
Yes, you. I keep the faith, for you.

Goodbye Dad!

I bet for everything if anyone who lose a dad will be really sad. Even after it has passed about 3 months ago but the scar is still hurting my heart. Losing him feels like there's a thorn that wouldn't stop to pierced me. Back when he was still alive beside me, may I have to say that he was really too much. He got his anger in every mistake that I did. Mocking me when I talked that I can't. I thought that he was doing it without any reasons. But the time when I was holding while he was dying, I knew that everything he did to me is for teach me being better and more better. I should've blame on elders for their sight that any humans will feel guilty after.

What is so hard to release him is because I haven't been success. Nope. Maybe when I was hurting him with my behaviors and can't make him see the change which I'm trying now.

He gives me a special duty. The only one that needs a hard work to do. Being like him as a dad for 3 women. Mom, and 2 older sisters. I gotta try hard to be wind that will blow their tears when drop. I'd be like you, dad. Although I just can see you as a stone on a grave, but your spirit won't ever lose at my deepest heart. Promise.

I won't ever cross my finger. Again like the day you were alive.
Goodbye, dad.